Letter from a Father to his Daughter

    I thought I would take time to post a letter I wrote to my Daughter on her 18th Birthday.  I couldn't always give much but I always gave my all.  So for her 18th birthday I gave her my recap on 18 years of being a father.  Hope you enjoy the read! 

"18 + years ago I became a father for the first time.  I had no idea what I was doing, how baby things worked.  How this beginning journey of fatherhood would transpire for my first born.  I had to figure this "father" thing out and I had to do it in a hurry.  I gave it my best effort.  I feed you when you cried, I rocked you in a car seat at 3 am when you cried, I changed your poopy pants (what seemed like 15 times a day) when you cried.  Then you smiled at me and it was all over.  You won!!  You captured my heart.

I always thought my happiest moments were single strikes in time, getting married, your first words but I was wrong.  Happiness with you is a daily event.  Watching you grow and learn. Even in times when money was tight and I was on my own, just going to the mall, or park, those memories I will always cherish.  When I look at all the pictures of the things we did or places we went I sometimes tear up because I only remember how great it was to share those with you.  If it were possible, I would experience every day again, all 6699 of them. 

Being your father has been my greatest honor, it has brought me more love than I can humanly express.  If someone asked me “what’s your favorite thing to do”, I would say being your dad is tops.  Tops because nothing can be better, absolutely nothing.  You were never a mistake, and inconvenience, a pain, a chore, a hindsight. You are always front and center in my world.  When you cry, I cry, when you laugh, I laugh, when your heart is broken mine is also broken. 

As you travel thought your next years of college, graduate and get your first teaching job, grow to have your own family,  remember you will not be alone, you will never be alone on your journey.  I will always be by your side and you will always be front and center. The best part is I get to be your Father!! "  

--Love Dad!!

Why do I care!

Why do I care if a radio talk show host passes away.  I have never meet Rush Limbaugh, never called and talked to him.  Why do I feel sadness then?  When I listen to the broadcast my heart is empty.  Yes it is sadness for someone that I never had the pleasure of meeting or talking too.  It took a little time to figure out but I think I know why.  It's the memories of what I did while I listened to the broadcast.  Here let me explain.  

When Rush first came on the radio or more aptly said, when I first listened to Rush Limbaugh, I was working selling insurance in Rochester MN.  It was the Bush vs Clinton election and my conservative Ideas were being echoed by some new radio personality.  It was nice to have someone on my side since too many people thought getting on the Clinton train was "cool".  (I could go off in a thousand directions about why I am conservative but lets save that for another time).  Anyway I bought Rushes book "The way it out to be" on cassette so I could listen in my car. (Couple of years ago I found it in my garage and had no way to play it so I pitched it) I digress.  I was delighted to listen to someone that had said the same things I have always believed.  Bought the next book also but soon time and distractions got the best of me and I quit listening.  

  I think I picked up the listening again in the Obama years after I started a new job.  I was trying to loose weight and decided to go walking every lunch hour and during that time I would "Tune in".  I spent many lunch hours walking and every day I could count on Rush to be there with me.  Even if it was super cold, I would still, suit up, and, tune in, just to go on the walk,  like Rush was some motivating coach poking me to get off my seat.  Couple years past and Rush releases an app, now I could download podcasts with no commercials, listen to more of him and less commercials about "Cars for Kids" This made the experience that much more enjoyable and kept me in my routine.  His enthusiasm for Apple products, golf, and just life in general was infectious so politics was not the only reason I tuned in.  I always new when a new Apple update was being released because I listened to a Political show.  Makes no sense correct?  So my connection was not merely a sense of politics but more as a listener of a great entertainer.

This was the ritual for many years until "COVID"  (and you thought 4 letter words were bad)  moved me to a home office. Now I had to figure out a new routine, but I could always count on that 11-2 slot being filled with a friendly voice.  A co-pilot ensuring me that everything will be OK.  We will land this plane together!  So that is why I am sad.  My friendly voice, on and off, for 30 years is now at rest.  Last year my Favorite band lost their drummer to cancer and you guessed it, the band is Rush!  I felt the same way as I do now. Empty!  Rush Limbaugh was someone I could always count on to entertain me.  If I felt sad I would tune in and he would make me laugh.  If I felt overwhelmed I would listen and be reassured.  If I was just tiered of listening to all the political bullshit on the left I could count on his opinion to balance.  

As I grow older I have learned to expect more change.  Not always good or bad, but change.  I know COVID will  go away, my band will start taking more of my time and things will get back to a new normal.  Maybe the radio show will morph into something new that will be as entertaining, I can only hope because those will be extremely large shoes to fill.  Right now I will have memories to look back on and new ones to make.  Thanks Rush Limbaugh for filling that 3 hour gap in my life every weekday.  Thanks for the knowledge, the grace, the technology and mostly the humor.  You will be missed!    

Social What and Why!

 

This has nothing to do with Trump, but you probably wouldn’t read my rant if I said, “My Rant” anyway Facebook has become a vial sewer of political division and censorship.  Relatives and friends pitted against one another, spewing nothing but political talking points.   I cannot have a conversation without someone yelling…Trump is unhinged, dangerous etc, and I am not even discussing politics.  I want to be on FB to discuss music, family, friends.  I cannot do this anymore since EVERYONE is political.  What guitar should I buy? Fuck Trump! Nice puppy pictures, Biden is an asshole! Think about it… Did the national politics make a difference in your life?  Did 8 years of Obama change anything in your life, NOPE.  Did 4 years of Trump change anything.  For me NO! Then why is everyone so divided? Hmm  

Another thing, I am tired of being told that as a conservative I am some sort of Race hating white supremacist.  As a white man I am now the worst vial human that ever has existed.  It only gets worse from there.  FB will post all this lefty shit and litter my feed with political crap but if I try to defend myself or other conservatives then I get put in FB jail for policy infringement.  You must except the fact that as a white conservative man you are nothing but a waste of life and a vile racist.  How dare you exist. 

I’m sad, I liked FB.  But what FB has turned into is a mission to silence not debate the other side.  I like reading the fun stories about friend lives.  I like connecting with my relatives. Social media has made this fun and enjoyable but not anymore.  I do not have the time to delete and scrub the crap from my feed.  It just keeps piling up.   

So, I have made a conscious decision to resign my time on FB as I did twitter (another vial cesspool of crap).  I will no longer read my feed, post any items, or participate in anything personal on FB.  I will continue to work on the band sites but personally I am done.  You will no longer see family photos, puppy pictures, anything meaningful in my life will not be post on this pile of crap social media platform. 

I will not be offline; I can still be found on Instagram or snapchat.  In addition, politics will be off my radar for the next couple of years also.  I do not care to hear anything our leaders have to say, it won’t make a difference in my life anyway.  National politics will only fuel more haters on FB and add to more censorship. So Facebook you are now on notice and you are in My Jail!! Good luck getting out!