Heart Broke!

I'm Stunned, saddened, heart broke.  Why? As you now know if you are any type of musician, Neil Peart of the Band Rush passed away recently. I don't think I need to list the thousands of credentials this man holds in playing, performing, writing, traveling, and well, just being one incredible human.  Instead of  writing his biography, which would take hundreds of pages to complete, I would like to tell you how Rush played a roll in my life.
   I was sitting on the couch yesterday and I had this empty feeling in my stomach as I read all the condolences on twitter.  Why was I feeling down? Why did I have teary eyes? Neil was not my relative, friend, hell I'm sure he and I new nothing about each other. So why did I feel so empty?  I didn't feel this way when Minnesota native Prince passed away suddenly.  I had to think on this one. So I did and I think I found my answer.
    I was introduced to Rush around the late 70's after the 2112 album was released. I remember listening to some songs and I thought they were cool but I didn't really pick up on the band till my friend Sunny got me hooked on the album "Permanent Waves"...the song "the Spirit of the Radio" had now become my favorite song and soon the band pushed out the likes of STYX and Kansas as my band of choice.  The album was released in January of 1980, so I have literally been listening and collecting memories for 40 years.  I think that is it.  Not the band so much but all the memories of the places, friends, and good times that I have collected over the course of  40 years while listening to Rush music. I measured everything in Rush years. I think that is the easiest way to put it. I can't always tell you what I was doing in my life in a certain year but I can tell you what happened when I opened a new Rush Album, VHS, DVD, or saw them live, you get the idea. What was I doing in 1988? I don't quite remember but I do remember getting into my red Chevy chevette in the driveway of my parents home and opening a cassette of "A show of hands".  I remember going to lunch with a Target coworker in 1984 and listening to "Distant Early Warning" I couldn't tell you the name of the person I was with but I remember the moment.  The trip I took to Winona MN and listening to the whole album "Presto" fall of 1989.  I remember living in my apartment in Rochester and watching "Chronicles" on VHS, I think I wore that tape out. I was such a big fan I new the producers on the albums, the road crew on the liner notes, I felt as though I was part of the family in a weird way.  Every year is marked with a song, album or tour! Every memory marked by a Rush moment in time. The memories go on, and on, and on. Too may to list.
    Now it is sad to say my clock is permanently broken.  Never to be wound again by the magic of my favorite band.   I always held hope that some day the band would once again come off hiatus and start a new project. Restarting my Rush clock and collecting more memories. Now that Neil Peart's clock has ticked its last tick mine too has also run dry. 40 years of tick, tick, tick, then nothing but silence.  I now understand my grief.  I understand why I have this pit in my stomach.  I will continue to listen to the great music of Rush relive the years and make new memories, but now I guess they will be measured by father time. Rest in Peace Neil Peart.