Bumper Cars

I went to bed early Friday night, I don't know exactly why, but it worked to my favor because I got to get up early and go shopping. Most of the time I go shopping Sunday afternoon after the Vikings win, or late on a weekday, but today I decided to be an early riser and go to Sams Club, Sears, and Walmart. First stop was Sams Club, where I like to walk through the electronics and dream of the 60 inch flat screen hanging from my living room wall, or maybe the entire stock of cooking supplies I could buy that would turn my kitchen into the restaurant I always wanted. $80.00 later and a new set of paring knifes it was off to Sears to see if that washer and dryer that I don't need are really that cheap. Needless to say I couldn't find them and looked for a new gas stove, something I need to complete my restaurant kitchen. Then off to the carnival known to many as WALMART! Holy crap did I pick a poor time to go shopping. Every turn down every isle was filled with carts bumping and smacking into everyone and everything. One lady had two carts blocking the entire bacon section and I had to wait for what seamed an hour just to find out the bacon I wanted was not on the shelf but in everyone's cart. I even got a call from the "First Lady" because she lost me and I was only one isle away. At one point she decided that the ingredient that we needed to cook the ham I picked up was in the cookie isle. Across the store we went like Columbus in search of the new world, smacking into carts and dodging kids along the way. We finally made it to the checkout counter only to wait because the lady in front of us picked up the wrong can of nuts and wasn't going to move till she got her price. As the city I live in converts one way streets back to two way and takes out stop lights in place of stop signs, I can't stop to wonder how nice those would fit into the layout of a Walmart on a Saturday morning. But until then I guess it's carnival time and I get to ride the bumper cars again.